Another French Immersion Weekend

We got together for the twenty-fifth immersion weekend in beautiful Manchester, Michigan. The weather was picture perfect, it was totally amazing. Get this, 25 years ago, a trio of french teachers decided that they would take the responsability for providing a place where teachers could go for a weekend and converse in french with other adults. To talk about classroom activities and trips taken. These three women wanted to have a place where meals and laughter could be shared and enjoyed. They found the perfect host in Dainava, a Lithuanian camp located just outside Manchester. The facilities are clean and useful, but not so comfortable that the teachers stay in their rooms alone, eveyone loiters in the great room or the kitchen and everyone speaks french - all weekend long. It was neat.

As a person given the gift of foreign language (having grown up in a bi-lingual household, I never had to work at learning french, it was given to me) I took it for granted. When I see these people taking time from their lives, using their own money, to come and spend a weekend just for the pleasure of speaking french, it really blows my mind. How totally cool is that? I would love to be able to give each of these teachers some sort of recognition, even though that is the farthest thing from their mind when they sign up for, and come to this weekend.

So in these very unsettling times for our country, it certainly feels good to have certain things that I can rely on, like finding these incredible people every autumn. I am very lucky indeed to have this in my life.

Now we start the busy time. I am headed up north with my husband to help him in a trade show and next week we begin our journey by going to Columbus for my neices wedding and then we get to spend four days in Chicago. My mother is coming along for the fun so I won't have to spend my days alone, and can get out and about with company. We come back Thursday because that same night there is another wine dinner here (there is one the night before we leave as well!). We are only in October for goodness sakes, it gets way busier in November, then the sales take off for the first part of December. Hopefully we are exhausted by that time because that would mean that we have had a successful season.

The harvest is still on-going and we can't get any information from them other than generic terms because there is some sort of superstition about giving opinions prior to everything being in the cellars. We should know more soon.

Long time, no see

OK, I am at a crossroads and I am reticent and nervous. Not having a paying job, not working outside the house, I am worried about not contributing to the budget that allows this house to run, and I am feeling guilty about using part of that budget to run said household.

So I go back and forth on whether I should join the working public or stay and support my family from the homefront. I know that if I go back to work, this will make things difficult for my husband and for the kids. I also know that I would be giving a new sense of balance to this house. Why in the world do woman have all of this guilt around instead of just thinking about what is the best balance for us and our family?

Now there has been a new twist to the plan. My husband has asked me to help him. He has a sales person that is struggling. He feels that I could help this person out by shadowing them and giving them some live feedback and advice on how to maximize their salestime and contact. My husband is confident that not only would this be helpful, but that I would actually be good and enjoy this type of work. I am scared to death.

I am not comfortable being in a professional environment with his, as his subordinate. I am not comfortable with being visible in his company and being made to put the proof in the actions and what if I fail. How are we going to balance our marriage? The partnership of the marriage, where I am already feeling like a second class partner because I am no longer contributing financially to this partnership, is now being even more tested as we are looking at putting me in a subordinate position in the work environment.

This is scaring me to death.

On the other hand, the kids are back at school and seem to be in a groove and ready to keep on track. I have all day to do what I want because there is no one to get in my way and I haven't used this time extremely well, I am kind of floating in this free time. So why, for goodness sakes, am I unsure of going to bat for my husband and his company. I have the time and I do have business acumen. I am an intelligent woman and I have a lot to contribute, so why in the world wouldn't I jump at the chance at getting back into the fold? Maybe my reticence has more to do with coming on as an official member, or even as an official consultant? Should we not just keep it loose and use the 'consultant' title in the background and simply have that between him and I - as the financial pay-off would be, between us.

I want to meditate on all of this but there seems to be a lot of noise - house noise, doubt noise and other - getting in my way. Keeping this blog up would be helpful for me. I am missing having an outlet for my rants and raves, fears and fun. Maybe taking this back up will be the solution that I need, taking a little pressure off of the relationship I have with my husband and allowing us to concentrate on our marriage and family, rather than have him deal with the business things during the day and my insecurities over the business in the evening. What a wonderful perspective for him - I remain unclear whether this will be a helpful solution for him, or way more frustrating. Can you imagine him having to tell me that I really am not making the siutation any better and I need to stop 'helping' them out?

So we'll just look foward to this next chapter unfolding.

Tell me again, why am I in Michigan?

The weather is still really bizarre. We are in the middle of January and have had almost no snow, no accumulation at any rate, and it is 44 degrees again today. I know that by next week they say we will be below average again, but we have not had cold temperatures yet.

No, I am not complaining, I am just saying that it is weird. And I really don't like rain in January. I would much rather have snow, at least it's pretty and the dog doesn't get so muddy. I guess that this is a sure sign that some people are really never, ever happy.

Then I look to the image above and tell myself that all the work is to be able to enjoy that view for a much longer time. I tell myself this and then I smile because I am one lucky broad, snow or no snow, warmth or cold, rain or no rain, I have this great plan.

Now that I have figured out how to add an image, maybe I'll be able to do this more often!

My father is sporting a new problem. His legs are causing him so much pain that he is using crutches now. It scares me to think of him trying to balance himself on crutches, and it also makes me wonder what new ailment is waiting for us, just around the corner.

I do realize that, at his age, there is probably a new pain every day. I also know that, at this point, it is very difficult to understand when dad really has an issue, or when it is some 'issue of the day'. Doesn't that sound awful? I am really trying to be empathetic in my listening and understanding, these last comments certainly don't reflect that. I wonder if my father would be having leg problems if Rene was not having issues walking? I don't actually believe what I am thinking because if my father were no longer able to move by himself, we would really have no choice but to put him in a facility until he regained his independence. This is why I am sure that he isn't just 'making up the pain'. I know that he really hurts. But doesn't the add on TV say, depression hurts, not just mentally, but physically as well?


I have to stop being so catty and actually try and do something productive. I need to talk to mom. Wish me luck and if you have a moment, spare a positive thought for me.

2007 Begins

Welcome to a new year! I keep telling myself that I need to remember to welcome this year and to be thankful for all of the little things, things that make me smile and things that irritate me. I want to laugh and sing and grab each moment. I want to rejoice this year and keep focused on the positives rather than scream about the negatives. This is now the second time I am writing this, I also put it in my personal journal and the intention lasted for about fifteen minutes until I lost it with the kids for something so not-worth-it. So, I'll keep trying. I'll keep asking them to try with me and maybe we will find a common ground that works for all of us.

Spent Christmas with my aunt and uncle in Moirey. It was a totally different experience from what I am used to. It was really about spending time together and taking it slow. I am truly glad that mom and I had a chance to go, even if it meant spending time away from the kids and JJ. I am pretty sure that they missed me but they managed to enjoy their time together.

I also got to see Anne-Laure and JB who housed me for a night and then spent two nights with Laurence and Celine. I was truly spoiled and enjoyed having the opportunity to catch up with all of them. Celine pampered me by doing something that she probably thought that she would never do, she went and got seafood and ended up shucking oysters! I enjoyed it to the very last drop, much to Laurence's dismay who had come home unexpectedly to find me finishing the goods, leaving her to warm up the wonderful rabbit she had made for us for dinner the previous evening.

Our last night in France mom and I went with Laurence and another friend, Cecile, to see 'the importance of being ernest'. It was truly well played and we had a great time and a good dinner out afterward.

We spoiled ourselves by flying business so the trip wasn't so bad and I came home on Friday to open my Christmas gifts. I will admit that was weird, not having anything to open on Christmas day. It wasn't a bad thing, just strange. So I opened my gifts on Friday evening. The kids got me the KD Tunstall CD that I have been wanting for forever and the third book of the traveling pants series. JJ got me an ipod adapter for the car, which is totally awesome because now we can all listen to the same thing. Okay, my kids were probably not thinking about it in that light, and will probably not think that it is as awesome as I do... I also got some Chanel N5. I am not sure about that, I don't think that I am old enough for it, but I sure do like it. It's like a classic scent and I am used to wearing something a little sassier, but I am glad that my husband thinks of me as a classic.

Family Christmas was at our house on Saturday and it was wonderful. I didn't worry about anything except the ham. We had a great time and Lucienne and Gisele came and seemed to have a good time with us as well. We missed Daniel and ofcourse Aunt Colette, but we are hoping that Dan will come next time and that we will have the pleasure of spending more time with our cousins from PH.

New Years Eve spent with good friends Patty and Errol with more food than could possibly be eaten by six adults and three children, more than we could have eaten in a week. It was fun. Charlotte babysat so she wasn't with us, nor was Luke who decided to spend the evening with his best buds, Jon and Dan. The Lions won, for pity's sake, this ofcourse means that we don't get the first draft. They can't even win right.

New Years Day, we went to wish dad happy birthday, and watch Michigan get slaughtered in Pasadena. It was a topsy turvy football weekend, to say the least.

Now we are all back to work and school. We shall see how long the resolutions last and whether at the years' end I will be more patient and joyous, and if I will have lost 20 pounds (currently I am going the wrong way on the scale, but I am confident that I will get this under control). We'll see if Charlotte is able to focus on her school work and lose ten pounds, or maybe she said five pounds. We'll see if Helene can also work on turning in assignments on time and complete, and Luke, well he has the same ambitions for school. I am not a complete idiot, I realize that the resolutions that our children are putting forward are for my benefit. I also think that they are smart enough to realize that things are much easier for them when they do what they are supposed to do in school.

My husband has not spoken about his resolution with me, but I am assuming it has something to do with keeping me totally happy and cherished. He does this quite well, but I will never tire of it, nor take it for granted.

Luke has discovered the Beatles and the Monkees. It has been a lot of fun listening to the albums with him. With that I will close saying that for 2007, I'll get by with a little help from my friends.

I forgot

The kids made us dinner last night. JJ and I went to swim our laps because the kids asked us not to come in the house because they were doing some Christmas stuff. I found this out while grocery shopping because Patty called me and asked me to come over and see her, when I told her that, although I miss her and would love to see her, this was not in the schedule of the evening. She told me to stay away from home. Helene called Patty to get me out of the way.

At any rate, JJ and I went to the pool alone. When we came home the kids had transformed the sunroom by dimming all but the Christmas lights (the tree resides in the sunroom) and had about 10 candles adding to the ambiance. The table was set in good china, lots of good silverware, beautiful wine glasses complete with white wine to start, and a bottle of red for after. It was beautiful. They really know how to set the stage. We are going to work on the food in the new year... For dinner we were to start with cream of mushroom soup, but they didn't read the instructions and tried to serve it to us in the concentrated version, albeit warmed. We graciously told them that we really didn't need a soup course.

For the main course there were steamed vegetables, just a little lukewarm, due to the fact that Helene had prepared this repast for 7:15 and we didn't come home until after 8. The veggies were accompanied by morningstar farms sausage - not my favorite, not even something I would eat. I had a lot of veggies.

Then we had a cheese course, where there was some awesome saint Andre with beautiful whole grain bread. Can you tell that this was my favorite course? All of this was followed up by the three "servers" joining us for dessert. Dessert was a buche de noel provided by Chris (our babysitter) and his girlfriend, Chelsea (I am assuming the chef). Chris was heading home to the UK for Christmas and this was his gift to us. It was beautiful and good.

JJ and I felt truly blessed to have such an evening and we are going to encourage the kids to make this a regular event. We will help them with recipes and shopping (trying to get the actual cuisine part on par with the presentation and service) and we will enjoy our 'at home date nights'. It was awesome.

Happy thoughts.

Cookies anyone?

No, I am not offering cookies. Unlike my idol Mlis, I do not have a wonderful kitchen full of scrumptious food and Helga waiting at the helm to clean. I have a problem and 156 cookies to make before Monday night. I am sure that I should also be looking to place each dozen in an attractive wrapper, making it totally appealing to both palate and eye. Oh God, what have I committed myself to?

I think that we have found the appropriate recipe and the kids are going to help. Fortunately, the tree is already up and decorated, and some Christmas cards have actually been written! So the family plan is to bake the cookies. This sounds good in theory, but I am oh so frightened of the actual outcome.

Now, I have simplified in other areas. I am no longer required to be driving to Toronto on Monday evening (after delivering said cookies), I have changed the meeting and made it local, so in effect calling the team members here and avoiding the inconvenience of having to drive. But I have thrown a little excitement in by booking my mother and myself on a trip to Paris for Thursday (12-21 for those who are paying attention) so I have to ensure that I am professionally up to date before then, and yes, I need to also ensure that all the holiday things are done, wrapped and properly labeled for my husband to know what to do, and to whom things go. Piece of cake, right?

OK, so getting my tookus moving and managing to work out at lunch time is not even a remote possibility at this time. I suppose that I could do it, but I have so little desire and lunching with JJ is so much more pleasant. The good news is that I do get to the pool often enough to not override me with guilt, except the guilt of paying for Curves and not actually going there - ah the promise of the new year resolution...

Gotta get an appointment with the hair dresser because I can't be seeing my chicks in Paris looking like a hag, although I have looked worse in the past and they loved me anyway. Wish me luck and keep me in your pleasant thoughts.

Pearl Harbor Day

Wow, it has been forever since I have taken the time to update this. So here I am at the end of the calendar year, wondering when I will find the time to decorate the house, finish the holiday shopping, bake 13 dozen cooking (Mlis, where are you?) and oh yeah, work! So in order to be super productive what do I do, I start working on a new post to my blog... That will get things done.

Dad has started dialysis and although he does not want to go, has not been to difficult. I heard that today was not a good day getting him to his appointment on time, but I keep telling my mom and brother that we cannot accept the responsability. He owns the issue. We can only be there to transport him back and forth and to remind him that he needs to be ready at a certain time. It's all very easy for me to say that as I sit at my office or in my kitchen, I don't live with the issue 24/7.

He is just as depressed as ever, even more so since his sister passed away at the end of October. He really doesn't see the point in life and has on numerous occassions asked why we don't just let him die. He makes it sound so simple, like he'll lay down one night and just not wake up. It's all very confusing and way to much of a decision for any one person to have to deal with, and my mother is trying to deal with everything (a not so good situation for her heart).

Mom is still in recovery from her relapse of congestive heart failure this summer. She has not been back to her old self and tires very easily. Her spirit is much better, as long as we don't talk about dad...

As for me and mine, we are running through the weeks with school and swimming and work and wine. We remember our month at the vineyard and it seems like forever ago, but the thought keeps us motivated for next summer. Karantes is absolutely breath taking and I dream of spending more time there, but that is a far away dream because we have children to raise and obligations to fulfill. It is a nice dream though, and a good thing to keep us on track.

Today is a Philippe's birthday and Christine's birthday. I spoke with Philippe's family today and have wished him a great day, but I haven't talked to Chris in years, but I still think about her and pray that she is happy and healthy.

That is the update. Maybe with a little thought I can learn to be a little more reliable with the info, at least it will help me remember what I am doing.